Cultures of care: Latine edition
It’s Hispanic Heritage Month! What can we learn from how Latin American countries and cultures care for each other?
Despite bearing the De La Cruz name, I’m not of Latine1 heritage. But I’ve studied Spanish since high school and lived and worked in Mexico, Peru, and throughout the region for the better part of the last 20 years. My husband, his family and our kids are Mexican American - we call them our little Viking Aztecs (Norwegian roots on my side). We’re not quite sure what their Mexican roots mean to them yet. We talk about it some, and they know that we have tamales on Christmas, and that their grandma was born in Mexico and speaks to them in Spanish. While they have had many Latine caregivers, we know that they have had a very different caregiving experience than their Mexican American father, his parents, and many of their cousins. While they were all raised and surrounded not just by parents but by a full cast of extended family, our kids see their grandparents occasionally and are cared for only by their parents and paid caregivers.
This aspect of our kids’ upbringing is tough for us, especially my husband, who truly grew up being raised by a village - the lack of which we are acutely aware of, living in a different state than his family and with my parents needing care themselves. While in the early days of dating Alex, De La Cruz family gatherings were admittedly a shock to my introverted Norwegian system, I was also smitten with this family whose small house was full of relatives and food at all times, and who immediately loved me like one of their own. There was an authentic warmth and effortless care that was different than any I had personally experienced. That village didn’t come without it’s challenges, but it did make caring and being cared for feel more natural.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how different countries and cultures view and support (or not) caregiving. I thought that in honor of Hispanic Heritage month, I would start by sharing some observations and ideas about how Latine cultures do caregiving differently than we do in mainstream anglo American culture (and reflected policies), and what we can learn from them.2
Things American caregivers can learn from the Latine way of care
There are two obvious differences that stand out most to me between how I was raised and what I’ve experienced in Latin America and heard from Latine caregivers here in the US. The first relates to the attitude toward family and caregiving. My ‘middle-aged mom’ instagram algorithm feeds me highly gender normative satire reels about the brutal slog of parenting. We love our kids… and also they are a total PITA so give me all the wine! I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I usually find them funny and relatable. And in some ways, this is at least an acknowledgment of the way moms really feel, which has not always been socially acceptable to express. I’m all for comic relief! But there is something deeper about how in the US, members of society who need others’ support, and who are not in their prime productivity years (i.e. children and elders), are most often depicted as burdensome to the rest of us - and anyone who pretends otherwise must be lying.
The second (but I think related) difference is in the way different age groups - or those who are largely caregivers and those who are mostly recipients of care - show up in public life. For me and many families I know, taking children to a restaurant is rarely appealing and always a gamble: will it be kid-tolerant? Will customers or the wait staff be visibly annoyed by them? And as a result, will we even be able to enjoy our meal? Similarly, I feel like I seldom see that many elderly adults in the US mixing with younger families in public spaces. Public life here is relatively devoid of age diversity, and also feels somewhat unwelcoming to it.
On the other hand, in the central plaza of almost any town in Latin America you’ll see kids chasing birds, elders sitting on benches or having coffee, and young couples strolling and holding hands. All passing time together in this public place. The norm for care of elders is family.3 Kids are a normal part of society, are allowed to act like full humans who happen to be children, and multiple generations frequently spend time together. This naturally builds tolerance and empathy for age diversity, and for caring for those who come before and after us. And in doing so, there is joy! Yes, this depiction is overly romanticized with “grass is always greener” vibes, but I’ve spoken to several friends from different LatAm countries who shared this view, and have been perplexed by our care norms in the US. In an exchange with a Latina friend who lives here in the US:
It’s just so crazy how the rhetoric here is so pro family when at then that’s not true at all. I’ve never felt like [children] are seen as full humans who have emotions and thoughts but more like ‘how much can you as a parent control that kid.’
It seems to me that the attitude toward children and elders (and caring for them) as a burden vs. a natural and even joyful part of life in community must be in part correlated to the differences in how these groups participate in public life. But what is the causation behind these differences? And how much of the difference in attitude is related to culture vs. how incredibly difficult it is to parent in America where the cost of childcare on top of the cost of living is becoming impossible?
From a PLoS One study on the link between perceptions of caregivers and culture:
The concept of familismo (familism) in Latin America emphasizes the importance of caring for one’s family, prioritizing the needs of family members, as well as respecting older family members. Hence, for Latin Americans, caregiving is an embodiment of these virtues, making it an emblem of cultural pride.
The same study also found interesting - but perhaps not surprising - connections between the level of individualism in the society and the attitude toward caregivers. The US, of course, being highly individualistic and most Latin American countries much less so:
We found societies high in individualism to be associated with negative perceptions of caregivers. Individualistic societies typically champion independence and self-determination. The receipt of caregiving may represent a reliance on others, which misaligns with societal aspirations of independence, thus engendering negative attitudes.
This makes a lot of sense - and is another point in my increasingly strong feeling that late stage capitalism is not very compatible with any kind of improved model for caregiver support. Not the most optimistic view but… please convince me otherwise!
On the other hand, cultural norms among many Latine populations are still entrenched with explicit and deep gender inequities, with women alone expected to provide unpaid care to children and elders who need it. Those biases that negatively impact women’s time and earning potential exist everywhere, but in the US they are less explicit with generally more legal protections from discrimination in place. Still, most countries in Latin America do have more social safety nets when it comes to care than we do in the US - at least for the most vulnerable groups. A friend who moved here from Mexico commented to me recently that the cost and difficulty of childcare when she moved to the US was a complete shock. The social welfare system that provides daycare to working mothers in Mexico may have its problems, but at least it exists! And affordable childcare is more widely available.
Alex and I have reflected on how our kids’ best daycare experiences have been the two that were deeply rooted in cultural communities: one Latine, and the other Jewish. Though very different in some ways, they shared a familial warmth that doesn’t exist in most American daycares.
The care economy at UNGA
This past week was the UN General Assembly in New York. I listened in to part of a session on the care economy featuring speakers from the governments of Kenya, Canada and Mexico. They discussed what policymakers can do to advance SDG 5.44 They shared some context: time spent on unpaid care labor is estimated at a value of eleven trillion USD, and women contribute 75% of that labor. Caregiving is invisible and undervalued; it is viewed as an extension and natural role of women, keeping status and earning potential low.
I learned that Mexico is leading the Global Alliance for Care which brings together players from all sectors to work on issues related to caregiving. The alliance tackles questions like: do we need to define care as a global human right? How do we put the five Rs of care: recognize, reduce, redistribute, reward and represent, into practice? How do we protect the rights of caregivers as well as those being cared for?
The representative from Mexico remarked that building care societies means changing the paradigm to put people at the center - not the money and production. This emphasizes something I keep coming back to, which is how hard it will be to prioritize and improve life for (particularly unpaid) caregivers in the context of late stage capitalism. Some of the biggest shifts that need to occur aren’t directly part of the economy, they are cultural - respect for people over profit, gender equity, etc. Yet, the conversations in these forums always focus on almost entirely on the political and economic solutions.
Many of the panelists talked about all of the data being collected. Lots of time use surveys. I’m all for data and find it fascinating, but given we already know a lot about the need for care, unpaid women’s labor, etc, I wonder what all of the granular data will lead to in terms of solutions. Or at least I believe that we shouldn’t be focused on waiting for that data to push for change.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Thanks for being here!
📚 Reads
It took having a fatal illness to come back to my original self. An interview from earlier this summer with Suzanne Biegel, a friend and gender smart investing legend, who sadly passed away this week.
The hope at the bottom of the child care cliff or the argument for “why you should want child care even if you hate women and their children.”
Local sister keeps deflecting requests to do more for aging mom I expected to be triggered by the response to this letter, but I felt seen.
People have different terminology preferences for broadly representing people with Latin American heritage. Latine (la-tee-ney) is newer but to me feels the most inclusive in terms of gender, Spanish pronounceability, and ethnicity - though still a very American term.
Obvious disclaimer: no cultural group is monolithic - especially the all-encompassing Latine/hispanic umbrellas. But there are key similarities and themes that are useful to explore.
Female family members do 75% of unpaid caregiving among Latine populations in the U.S.
SDG 5.4 target is to recognize and value unpaid care and domestic work through the provision of public services, infrastructure and social protection policies, and the promotion of shared responsibility within the household and the family as nationally appropriate.
So relatable! And so beautifully written.