It won’t come as a surprise that my mother is a hoarder as well. I am still astonished by how she keeps her binge shopping of cheap crap a secret. (Until I find trash bags of purchases from Ross with the tags on in her garage.) Clearly, it’s a source of shame for her. I imagine that when she’s feeling especially anxious or empty inside, she pulls out Shein or Temu or Walmart and fills up her cart.
I think all behaviors are coping mechanisms of a sort and I wish I could convince her to trade impulse shopping for a walk outside or meditation, but at 70 years old, her patterns are hardwired.
Have you watched Buy Now on Netflix? I’m fascinated by how humans are dealing with abundance: taking on second jobs to cover Ozempic shots. Spending $200 a month on storage units to hold all the things they purchase but don’t have time to use or space to store. It all sounds very stressful, which probably accelerates the cycle. Will future generations find satisfaction with the mere necessities?
Yes, I'm sure there are complex reasons behind the hoarding, that's a whole essay (book?) in and of itself! Would be an interesting topic from a time capsule perspective, because I really do think that the mindset and environment we're raised in plays a role - in addition to the mental health around compulsion to buy, retail therapy angle. Scarcity mindset is a powerful force! I saw both issues playing out for my mom, sometimes in total opposition to each other. She also clearly was more comfortable when she moved to a room with only the necessities, but when she had been in a room piled with crap, she would resist throwing away even a plastic bag. Wild.
I haven't watched Buy Now... I would say I'll add it to the list but I rarely make time to watch anything these days!
It's a great Idea and I hear the relief in these written lines! I did a triage of my stuff at each relocation - that's 18 times. Now, I have a small lock storage room.
Sorting/ removing etc my own things is easy. The stress and angst of sorting my parent's stuff now and interacting with strangers, especially with Mum's health issues, feels counterproductive (mentally and exposing Mum's immunocompromised state to risks). Of course, It depends on the situation, the person, and whether trustworthy recommended agencies exist locally.
Suffice it to say, this is one area we've chosen to avoid, based on how sorting my Dad's things went...for now, it's a step too far. BUT our main areas are tidy, and all the perishables and cleaning stuff get sorted at least every 6 months ;-)
I relate to what you've shared, but we're savouring as many calm, no-worry days as possible. Stuff in the house concerns me less than navigating/communicating with the health system right now! So it doesn't even figure on my long to-do list ;-)
It won’t come as a surprise that my mother is a hoarder as well. I am still astonished by how she keeps her binge shopping of cheap crap a secret. (Until I find trash bags of purchases from Ross with the tags on in her garage.) Clearly, it’s a source of shame for her. I imagine that when she’s feeling especially anxious or empty inside, she pulls out Shein or Temu or Walmart and fills up her cart.
I think all behaviors are coping mechanisms of a sort and I wish I could convince her to trade impulse shopping for a walk outside or meditation, but at 70 years old, her patterns are hardwired.
Have you watched Buy Now on Netflix? I’m fascinated by how humans are dealing with abundance: taking on second jobs to cover Ozempic shots. Spending $200 a month on storage units to hold all the things they purchase but don’t have time to use or space to store. It all sounds very stressful, which probably accelerates the cycle. Will future generations find satisfaction with the mere necessities?
Our moms really are two peas in a pod...
Yes, I'm sure there are complex reasons behind the hoarding, that's a whole essay (book?) in and of itself! Would be an interesting topic from a time capsule perspective, because I really do think that the mindset and environment we're raised in plays a role - in addition to the mental health around compulsion to buy, retail therapy angle. Scarcity mindset is a powerful force! I saw both issues playing out for my mom, sometimes in total opposition to each other. She also clearly was more comfortable when she moved to a room with only the necessities, but when she had been in a room piled with crap, she would resist throwing away even a plastic bag. Wild.
I haven't watched Buy Now... I would say I'll add it to the list but I rarely make time to watch anything these days!
It's a great Idea and I hear the relief in these written lines! I did a triage of my stuff at each relocation - that's 18 times. Now, I have a small lock storage room.
Sorting/ removing etc my own things is easy. The stress and angst of sorting my parent's stuff now and interacting with strangers, especially with Mum's health issues, feels counterproductive (mentally and exposing Mum's immunocompromised state to risks). Of course, It depends on the situation, the person, and whether trustworthy recommended agencies exist locally.
Suffice it to say, this is one area we've chosen to avoid, based on how sorting my Dad's things went...for now, it's a step too far. BUT our main areas are tidy, and all the perishables and cleaning stuff get sorted at least every 6 months ;-)
I relate to what you've shared, but we're savouring as many calm, no-worry days as possible. Stuff in the house concerns me less than navigating/communicating with the health system right now! So it doesn't even figure on my long to-do list ;-)
thoughtfully organized thoughts.
Good for you, Anna! Lots of inspiration in this piece ... and way too much that feels familiar. Thank you for sharing this!