Thank you for sharing this! I’m sorry you’ve had to go through so many challenges. My Mom just we t through many of these issues with my Grandma and I know we’ll face similar ones in our future. It helps to have as much transparency about the process as possible! 💗
Really helpful. Such a lot of time/stress/effort involved in care. And this is the stuff behind the care, not actually the care itself. I'm involved in care for my elderly aunt - I manage the finances and my sister manages the health. She's in assisted living in NYC. Luckily, she has plenty saved up, so the finances have been manageable for her. Her residence costs about $10k/month and other costs probably double that. Maybe a bit more. Just for comparison. We haven't dealt with Medicaid (yet) because he haven't had to and don't expect to need it. But.. you never know.
But your point that everyone needs to think this through. The sooner the better. With your loved one ideally, but without them if not. And that there are lots of complications and weird incentives. AND the whole experience is emotionally fraught which makes it much much harder. I wish there were a lot more resources and help. Not to be weird, but I wonder if AI could help - maybe even just using chatgpt to work it through and ask questions.
Thanks for sharing your experience and expenses. It’s great that you have someone to share the management load with, and that your aunt sounds well resourced enough to not worry about Medicaid. The average boomer’s retirement savings will last a few years at this rate, which I don’t think people realize!
Thanks, Anna - even if I'm in the UK its helpful to read about your experience AND may I suggest putting the 'Get your shit together' link in the main body of the text - this is a REALLY good link with a very useful checklist resource.
It's given me a few more thoughts re. my own plans, insurance and around my fear of pre-deceasing Mum.
Yes, and whether a lasting power of attorney is 'effective immediately' or 'with reduced mental capacity' (UK terms). Check out Jody Day's article; you've written complementary articles.
Yes GYST is so helpful. I’ve mentioned it before but I can link it in the main body of the post! It was started by a woman here in Seattle who lost her husband unexpectedly and realized how unprepared they were…
I've downloaded the checklists. Even if I know a lot, I never tire or miss an opportunity to check and discover new things. I had no idea there was a digital POA in the US, so I'm checking for the UK version.
I don't like the worries/fears I've acquired, and the admin is a yearly headache, BUT the horrors I've heard about from other caregivers are a colossal bonfire under me—a burning platform. So your article and Chanel Reynolds website resonates deeply.
Thank you for sharing this! I’m sorry you’ve had to go through so many challenges. My Mom just we t through many of these issues with my Grandma and I know we’ll face similar ones in our future. It helps to have as much transparency about the process as possible! 💗
I’m so glad to hear that it’s helpful! I wish there was more transparency and open conversation about eldercare overall. Thanks for reading!
This is so helpful. And I’m sorry it’s been such a slog for you, with your mom. I think your dad has the right idea!
Thank you Mary, I’m so glad it’s helpful!
Really helpful. Such a lot of time/stress/effort involved in care. And this is the stuff behind the care, not actually the care itself. I'm involved in care for my elderly aunt - I manage the finances and my sister manages the health. She's in assisted living in NYC. Luckily, she has plenty saved up, so the finances have been manageable for her. Her residence costs about $10k/month and other costs probably double that. Maybe a bit more. Just for comparison. We haven't dealt with Medicaid (yet) because he haven't had to and don't expect to need it. But.. you never know.
But your point that everyone needs to think this through. The sooner the better. With your loved one ideally, but without them if not. And that there are lots of complications and weird incentives. AND the whole experience is emotionally fraught which makes it much much harder. I wish there were a lot more resources and help. Not to be weird, but I wonder if AI could help - maybe even just using chatgpt to work it through and ask questions.
Thanks for sharing your experience and expenses. It’s great that you have someone to share the management load with, and that your aunt sounds well resourced enough to not worry about Medicaid. The average boomer’s retirement savings will last a few years at this rate, which I don’t think people realize!
To everyone: BE AWARE! A MUST-READY, to be saved!
Thanks, Anna - even if I'm in the UK its helpful to read about your experience AND may I suggest putting the 'Get your shit together' link in the main body of the text - this is a REALLY good link with a very useful checklist resource.
It's given me a few more thoughts re. my own plans, insurance and around my fear of pre-deceasing Mum.
Sharing this now for others to read! Thank you!
Yes I’ve used an online POA version it just needs to be notarized- another good topic to write about. POA vs guardianship, when to hire a lawyer etc.
Yes, and whether a lasting power of attorney is 'effective immediately' or 'with reduced mental capacity' (UK terms). Check out Jody Day's article; you've written complementary articles.
Yes GYST is so helpful. I’ve mentioned it before but I can link it in the main body of the post! It was started by a woman here in Seattle who lost her husband unexpectedly and realized how unprepared they were…
I've downloaded the checklists. Even if I know a lot, I never tire or miss an opportunity to check and discover new things. I had no idea there was a digital POA in the US, so I'm checking for the UK version.
I don't like the worries/fears I've acquired, and the admin is a yearly headache, BUT the horrors I've heard about from other caregivers are a colossal bonfire under me—a burning platform. So your article and Chanel Reynolds website resonates deeply.